If I were to ask you, what your happiest memory was, what would you say? Close your eyes for a minute, think back, what’s the first happiest memory that pops into your mind? Remember the moment, what did you see, what did you hear, what did you feel, what did you smell or taste? Relive the moment!
For me, the breeze was sweeping my face ever so lightly. I could feel the sunshine beaming down and warming me from the inside, out. The sand was between my toes and I could smell the light scent of of the salty sea. My hair was like straw from swimming in the waves.
The waves were splashing, and the kids were jumping in and out of them for what felt like no time at all; many hours had passed. The adults were reading, laughing, chatting among ourselves and every now and again, one of the kids would come for a warming cuddle or a food to fuel them for more play.
As we watched the water, someone spotted whales leaping from the waves. We held our breath as we watched them swim past the point. I felt interest and curious, warm, I felt joy, serenity and love - it was a happy moment. The banner is a picture of Eli at Bendalong in our last family holiday. Although, the words above are mine, her picture captures the feeling for me. Every time I see it, I feel the feelings I felt. I hear the sounds, see the sights and smell the smells.
We’re about to go into big memory moments over the next few weeks. This week’s freebie is all about capturing those, plus all the little magnificent moments that happen in-between.
Research tells us that people are happier when they hold a positive nostalgic view of their past. It can:
- Produce positive feelings
- Boost our self-esteem
- Increase our sense of being loved by others
Happy memories are another superpower we have within us. They are core to who we are. All we need to do is practice bringing them to mind, observing them and savouring those moments of reflection. It’s such a wonderful gift to give to our children.
It is helpful to get our kids to savour the happy moments they have. To express in detail, what happened and why they cherish the memory. One way we can do this is to ask your child to remember a happy moment. You could do this by looking through your photos, sharing stories with them, asking questions to help them recollect times you saw them experiencing heightened positive emotions. You could offer them the opportunity to draw the memory and then the time to tell you all about it! All of tiny details. We want them to draw on their episodic memories. One way to help them do this is to use all of their senses.
Questions like this can help:
- What happened?
- What did you hear people say?
- What did you see?
- How did you feel?
- When you think about this, can you smell any smells?
Depending on the situation..
- What about a taste?
Having a positive narrative about our life is an important aspect of life-satisfaction. The memories we train our brains to remember can be:
- The positive one’s of feeling joy, excitement, happiness
Or
- Sadness failure etc
We shape our futures by the narratives and memories of our past. We can take the lessons from the harder moments but not have to ruminate on them. Where-as reliving and savouring the positive memories can be beneficial for our well-being.
How can you help your children collect positive memories that have been observed and savoured?
Our freebie for the next few weeks is all about helping you do that. It has several ideas for you to use. We have our little box of positive moments that can be filled with positive Polaroids of memories your kids want to cherish. Both the big one’s and the little moments too.
They can draw the picture in the frame and then use both the bottom and the back of the card to write about it. Or, if they aren’t yet good at writing. They can draw and you can do the writing.
We have also offered a big Polaroid, as I thought some of you might want to buy a blank A4 book that you can stick the bigger pictures and stories in.
We hope you enjoy the moments of connection this offers you. We hope your children’s savoured memories bring you laughter, happiness, warmth and joy over this period.
A big Merry Christmas to you all, I wish you every happiness over the holiday period. Thank you for your connection, your support and joining the Kids Who Shine tribe.
Sarah x
There are other ideas that we have shared across the past few months including:
- Joy Jar
- I choose bracelets
- My positivity book
If you haven't got these you can get them here:
* Fredrickson, Barbara, (2009). Positivity: Groundbreaking Research to Release Your Inner Optimist and Thrive. London. One World Publications.
*Wiking, Meik, (2019). The Art of Making Memories: How to Create and Remember Happy Moments. UK. Penguin Life an Imprint of Penguin Books.