As situations arise that seem absurd and as we face having to make changes in our lives that we never thought possible...
Have Hope
Our blog below offers some practical tips on how to approach the coming weeks and ways to engage your kids across this time.
We can overcome the obstacles of life. Hope isn’t just a belief it’s a way of being and doing. And it’s in these uncertain times that we should draw on this strength.
As we’re called inside to spend time with our families, what a perfect time to be sharing the strength of hope with them. Hope is defined as:
“Expecting the best in the future and working to achieve it.
It’s believing that a good future is something that can be
bought about.” (Peterson, 2006)
Hope is also about having a clear goal in mind of what you’d like to achieve, having your mindset in check, knowing the pathways you will take to get there and working through the potential obstacles that might get in the way. Hope is a buffer against depression.
Someone high in hope would also show their ability to be able to dispute their negative thinking. Just like a lawyer does in court, we can seek fact from fiction in our own minds.
This blog comes from a place of hope, this moment will pass and we will overcome what’s upon us. I believe there are ways we can even turn these times from what seem like ‘problems’ into ‘opportunities’.
Here are six ideas on how:
1. Family Meeting: Get your family together and talk about what is happening in the world in a simple way they can relate to. Acknowledge any emotions around the table before moving onto the next step.
2. Making Plans Together: When you’re talking about what’s happening with your kids, invite them to help create ideas for what you’ll do as a family. If you’re approaching (or in) isolation phase, work together to create a plan that will help you all. Ask the kids what a good home environment will:
- Look like
- Sound like
- Feel like
Gain agreement about how you can make it work for everyone!
As the family shares their ideas, withhold judgement of anyone’s solution
until the end. Think about and plan the types of questions you might need to work through, like:
- How will we work together as a family?
- How will we make sure we all get some space?
- How will we exercise and manage our zest?
- How will we organise our day?
Work through question by question and then reality test and agree the plan. Get everyone to agree how you’ll celebrate each day. This is a great way to develop kids’ problem solving and build their capacity to know as a family you will get through the next phase.
3. Colour Connection: Want to approach the conversation in a positive light? Print out our freebie and you can talk about the strength of Hope. How people with this strength (we all have a little inside of us), can be able to work through challenges and believe in a better future. This too will pass and there will be good things to come. Ask your kids to recall times when they have done this in the past.
Also, an optimist would say, how can we make the most of now too! Get your kids focusing on hope through colouring in something positive they can hang in their room. If you want to take the strengths conversation further, check out our book.
4. Dispute our negative thinking: If negative thinking is starting to take over and we can feel anxiety (that we wouldn’t normally have) arise, it’s a good time to seek the facts and confirm with our mind what we can control and what we can’t. Focus on what you can do to make this time as good as it can be. Can you move from an ANT (automatic negative thought) to a PET (performance enhancing thought)? ANTS are the thoughts that automatically pop up into our mind that may stop us from performing at our best. If we learn to catch these thoughts, we can also learn to replace them with a thought that will help us move closer to our best selves. E.g."I can’t do this, to "I can do this, the first thing I can do is organise a plan with my family. In order to stop feeling overwhelmed, I’ll write it all down and do one step at a time.
5. Sharing stories: It’s always a good time for a story. Pull out all the books you have of character’s overcoming obstacles (most books we read) and spend some time reading them with the kids.
6. Manage Media: As things heat up it can be hard not to get caught up in the media. Agree with a friend or partner how much is necessary and have an accountability buddy. Too much negative media isn’t good for us. Luckily, we have the opportunity to choose how much we expose ourselves (and our kids) to.
Times like now can be hard. Know that we’re all in it together. All we can do is choose our response. Create the life you want to live right now. We can take the approach that this is an insurmountable problem, or we can turn it into an opportunity to try a different way of living and working together.
May you all stay in good health.