Building Positive Emotion
A well-being injection and resource for the hard times and the good times.
I was feeling a little down this week and short for the time. I really wanted an extra day to focus on Kids Who Shine! I knew dwelling on it wouldn’t give me more time, a new perspective was needed. I decided to let the week unfold and what I was supposed to focus on would be presented to me. I was on the look-out.
Eli and Adi had asked me to print photos of our holiday for them to take to Kinder for show and tell. I was thinking we could make a book, draw pictures and write in it. We talked it through and decided making a book would be a fun project.
We headed to get the photos printed. We had to sit and choose which pictures we wanted in our book, then wait for them to be printed at the self-service machine. They came out one – by - one. The girls were ecstatic. As each photo appeared they took turns at getting the photo out, guessing who was in it (they are identical and sometimes can’t tell themselves who is in the photo), sharing the stories of who they were with, what they did and where they went.
Joy…They were experiencing bursts of joy, amusement and interest through savouring the past moments.
My moment had presented itself. Positive Emotions. Make a ‘Joy Book’ with them.
What are Positive Emotions?
Barbara Fredrickson (a prominent professor/researcher of positive psychology), wrote a book called Positivity*. It is a great book with ways to increase positivity/well-being within our lives through both decreasing negativity and increasing our positive emotions:
- Joy
- Gratitude
- Serenity
- Interest
- Hope
- Pride
- Amusement
- Awe
- Inspiration
- Love
It is an older book and the science still stands-up. One of the strategies Fredrickson offers in the book is to build your own portfolio for each of these positive emotions. **
How do they help us?
In building our positive emotions, we grow our psychological resources including resilience. Fredrickson's theory is that Positive Emotions broaden and build. Positive emotions make us feel good, they change how our mind works, they increase our creativity and they help us connect better with others. They help us bring out our best selves, enhancing our well-being.
Going back into the moments, seeing what we saw, feeling what we felt and hearing the sounds that built the positive emotions offer you the opportunity to feel those emotions again. It’s a way of savouring the moments. Think of it like booster of positive emotions. A wave of happiness for you/your kids. Who-ever is building the book. This injection is a well-being booster shot!
That’s what the twins and I are building and what we’re sharing with you today as our freebie.
How To Make Your Book
For our book, we focused in on one main event, our last holiday and one positive emotion, joy. However, you can go back as far as you like in time. If you’re doing this with your kids, the focus is ‘what moments sparked the positive emotion of choice’ and how can they be expressed within their book/folder etc? You can use pictures, drawings, tabs from events, smells, poems, creative writing. Whatever medium works for you and you kids. The book isn't’ static, it’s great to add to it over time, to keep that emotion alive.
I’ve attached the guide to help you do this in the freebie box. It covers:
- A how to guide
- A list of questions
- A template for making it
You can use our template or simply go out and buy a book like we did. It was quick and easy. The time we spent making the book flew by. The girls agreed which photos they would put in and they put the glue on the photos, and I put them in the book. The next stage is where they can draw, and I can put their words into the book.
We talked about what we did, who they played with, the bits they enjoyed most and would like to do again.
The idea of these books is to give you an extra injection of joy. It also stands-time. When your kids hit hard times, are feeling down, or experiencing negativity for whatever reason, you can use this book with them. The stronger the positive emotions/connections in the book, the greater the opportunity to help pull you into a more effective space.
Fredriskson suggests you build a portfolio for each emotion. You can leave one out to draw on but warns not to overuse it, to swap them regularly and also add to them regularly.
I’ve decided to add this to our family meeting. We can quickly go back and reflect on moments we would like to add to our books. Isa now wants to build one too, so we’ll do that while building on the twins.
Emotional Intelligence and Mindfulness
I’ve implied but not necessarily shared explicitly, that these activities help our kids build emotional intelligence and mindfulness. They are looking for and in the moment, choosing to experience a positive emotion. We can help them label it, and know how to cultivate it when required. Mindfulness and EQ.
They help them gain awareness of their emotions and provide tools to help them regulate them. Self-awareness and self-regulation are two foundational elements of EQ. Without them, we struggle to empathise or build the necessary social skills. This activity also gives us further insight into what motivate our kids so we can use this to further engage them in life and move them into action.
Gratitude
In the evening, Eli and I were lying in bed and I asked her what she is grateful for today. Without thinking, she said making the book today. In her words…”it was very special to me.”
Side note - Fredrickson also writes that using our strengths helps to build our positivity and flourish. Check out our book, ‘It Starts with Strengths’ to help your little one’s get to know their unique abilities!
* Fredrickson, Barbara, (2009). Positivity: Groundbreaking Research to Release Your Inner Optimist and Thrive. London. One World Publications.
**The original idea came from James Pawelski, (Professor of Practice, Director of Education Master of Applied Positive Psychology Program, University of Pennsylvania alongside Martin Seligman) he built a book on pride to help him build confidence and has since then tested and used this intervention with his MAPP students.